more of a full-body shot. I wanted to lose more weight, but whatever, here you have it. The picture to the left was taken sometime in the first half of 2010 at my friend Alan's house. I have PLENTY of this type of 'before-picture'. The one to the right, with me in the green shirt was taken today. In the 'before' photo I was at least 20 lbs. heavier, possibly more, definitely one of my 'fatter' days. I realize these two pics are kind of comparing apples to oranges as I'm sitting (half-lying down) in one and standing in the other, but here you have it. I will cheerfully use the pic of me in the green shirt as the basis for future 'progress shots'. Now on to the important sutff.....Today is day 43 so I've been doing this 6 weeks. By now, it is by far easier than the first three weeks were. Things I'm still struggling with: yummy food smells; that is THE hardest thing....totally triggers me to really WANT the 'offending item'. :) BUT, the 'savoring the smell' thing I mentioned in a previous post, REALLY makes a diff. Just trying to focus on enjoying the smell is SUPRISINGLY satisfying. OBVIOUSLY not the same as actually devouring said yummy thing, but you get the idea. :) I'm also struggling with 'missing' the good food. I'm having to learn to just constantly remind myself that 'food is fuel, food is fuel, food is fuel' we 'eat to live, not live to eat'. Sigh.
My loss this week was about 2 lbs. So my total loss for 6 weeks is 19 lbs. I can assure you I've never lost 19 lbs. during a six week period in my entire life. So, yes, I am rejoicing but I have SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO far to go. However, I am working very hard to ALWAYS stay in the moment and any time I have that thought, I remind myself, it doesn't matter, all that really matters is getting through TODAY, sometimes the next three hours.
I don't know if eating like a 'normal' person will EVER feel routine to me, but I am so grateful to be doing SOMETHING that's taking me in a good direction. I do have an exciting marker on the horizon though. In four more pounds, I will weigh what I weighed when I moved here. Once I hit that and get below it, I will be in brand new territory that I haven't seen in at least 4 years and perhaps longer. My next marker will be 29 lbs. below THAT number as it will be what I weighed after I gave birth to Olivia, daughter number 2 in June of 1999. Anything below that will be numbers I haven't seen in 10+ years.
Exercise....I also know that at this point, if I want to see better/faster results I have to start exercising. My knees are STILL killing me, but I am going to commit to a 5 min. walk every day (and not count walking to/from around the grocery store). I know it's pathetic but that is where I will start. Believe it or not, I actually used to be a 'runner', not hard-core mind you but back in 1992 when I did another big weight loss program, I worked up to running about 1.5 miles a day. I never thought I'd be a runner. Of course I never will do that again as just walking across the room is painful but I will give the 5 min. thing my best effort. I am also going to try to get back to doing the Abdoer every day. I just can't do the every other day thing. If I don't have something hanging over me every day, it's just not motivating enough. I know that's sick, but it is what it is. The mind is an amazing thing, mine is feeling completely f'ed up.
Good things I continue to notice....I am sleeping SO much better, I have stopped (okay, VERY intermittently) taking my anti-depressant. My mood is generally better (though I have noticed some intense bitchy moments). AND, I'm motivated to get more done around the house and actually start/complete projects.
Today's food so far:
*coffee w/tbsp creamer (had 2 8 oz. cups each with one tbsp-yes this is OFF PLAN but I don't care, it's my ONE real treat in the day, 1 tbsp is 25 cal)
*1/2 my daughter's breakfast sandwich (NO, I normally DO NOT eat this stuff but I was really hungry and unprepared and my health coach is gonna have a hissy (rightly so; she's always bitching at me to be prepared and God love her, she's right)
*MF oatmeal (I have learned to almost LOVE this oatmeal....never thought I'd type that)
*NO WATER yet, yikes, I just realized that as I'm typing this, will get my mug immediately. Okay, I am back...just got my first mug. It's 28 oz. and I drink about four of these a day.
Today's rating: 8/10 (I am happy about my loss and am generally feeling pretty good about my efforts.)
I promise before my next Sat. post to do my 5 min. of walking every day and see where it gets me.
