Days 16-20

Obviously, like all things with me, my initial zeal is waning, but only temporarily.  Weighed on Monday to see the damage from new year's weekend.  Yikes, up 3 lbs.  BUT I weighed on Wed. and I was down 2 lbs. so a net gain of 1 lb.  Weighed again on Thurs. and was up 3 lbs.  NOT pleased.  :( :( :( :(  Overate at dinner on Wed. night and I think that was the impact (had turkey and ham + lettuce wraps); I got overly hungry and ate more than I should have.  Now mind you I didn't go WILD, but anyway.
YESTERDAY was just awful.  I snacked on and ate so many extra little things throughout the day, I was miserable by the end (but the misery was my guilt, I didn't physically feel bad).  That coupled with the +3 lbs. showing on the scale in the morning.  Blech.  I have been really diligent about my water the last several days, making sure I'm drinking at least 64 oz. and then some.  I decided that today I was going to do my very best to stay right on track and I've had a good day.  I still have 2 MR and dinner to go before the day is done and I weigh in again tomorrow as my 'official' weigh-in for the week.

Some disorganized thoughts...
*I am very depressed about this whole thing right now, because I feel like I'm failing because I'm hungry every 1-1.5 hours.  I should be able to make it longer than that and I'm finding it very, very tough.  Today I decided to eat every 2 hours (which I've done 3/4 times today) but now I'm facing 4 hours before I eat dinner and I don't like that to be my last food of the day, but it may have to end up that way.  We're having a late dinner tonight and there's no way I'll make it w/out 1-2 MR between now and then.  My fear is I'll be hungry even after eating (tonight's plan is salad and chicken breast).
*I need to begin exercising.  I think that's going to be the key to keep my body guessing.  I do try to do the Abdoer every day, but it isn't enough.  I think I'm going to HAVE to suck it up and start walking, no matter how much my knees hurt.
*I know this HAS to work, this is my last resort.  I just don't think I can bear the thought of doing gastric bypass or a lap band.  I just hate the fact that I'm finding myself hungry every 90 min.  I even have been asking myself, are you actually hungry or is something else at play.  I make sure I drink water in those moments but I'm still hungry.  Arrrgggh!

Yesterday gets a 3/10.
Today so far, gets a 6+/10.

Food today:
apple cinammon oatmeal (almost done with the box of this, I can't wait, NOT a favorite)
Choc. shake (definitely love these)
choc. mint crunch bar
chicken noodle soup

plan for the rest of the day
shake
pudding

Yes, you read that right, I've allowed myself 6 MR in a day.  One the days I can make it, I do only have 5.  But I've allowed myself one extra on the days I think I just can't make it.